Seketika Aku Menginsafi Diri

Hidup tak semuanya indah.. Adakala suka dan duka. Ada kala kita merasakan terlalu keciwa dengan apa yang kita alami. Down.. mmg down gilos. Rasa depression.. perasaan yang boleh membunuh jiwa kita.

Nie la yang aku hadapi sejak beberapa hari yang lalu sehingga menganggu kesihatan diri aku.. Tekanan darah aku jadi rendah.. tapi Allah Maha Kuasa.. dia tak nak aku terus meratap dalam kesedihan. Diberikan aku petunjuk agar aku bersyukur dengan keadaan diri ku.

Sedang aku sebok menyiapkan tempahan kek yang dipesan oleh pelanggan, aku dikunjungi rakan persekolahan. Gembira dengan kehadiarannya dan anak-anaknya kerumahku. Lantas ku kemas-kemas kerja ku buat sementara waktu bagi menghormati tetamu. Tak mengapa.. kerana aku masih punya waktu untuk menyiapkan tempahan pelanggan ku.

Rupa-rupanya rakan ku ini sedang dirundung kesedihan, datang mencari teman untuk menghilangkan keresahan hatinya. Bukan dia menagih simpati, hanya sekadar menghibur hati. Sedih melihat kedaannya yang amat tertekan dengan segala yang ada disekeliling dalam memperjuangkan kehidupan bersama anak-anaknya. Masih punya suami tapi hanya pada nama. Ada keluarga yang hanya di hadapan mata. Apa dayanya sebagai seorang wanita yang harus berjuang membesarkan anak2nya seramai 6 orang tanpa pekerjaan. Mengharap suami yang ibarat kapal selam yang timbul dan tenggelam. Anak2 harus dibesarkan.. makan.. pakai dan segalanya perlu diselesaikan. Anak-amak perlukan pendididikan.. demi masa depan yang lebih cerah, namun dapatkah ia menjadi realiti. Ku menatap mata kecil itu, cergas akalnya.. petah bertutur kata.. namun dimana akhir hujung pendidikannya.. haruskan ia padam dipertengahan jalan? Berat mata yang memandang.. berat lagi bahu yang memikul..

sejenak aku menginsafi diri....

To My X Best Friend

i just looking for the words.. trying to express my feelings.. i found this at
http://www.booksie.com/poetry/poetry/mystory/betrayed-by-my-best-friend/chapter/1


There we were, both so young,
Just standing with the crowd.
We were the closest of friends,
Laughing so loud.
As time went on,
I started trusting you more and more.

I told you things that I,
Hadn't told anyone before.
I opened up to you,
I gave you my heart,
Then you turn right around,
And tear it apart.

You think that I don't know,
What you're saying behind my back.
You think you're so perfect,
But there's still so much that you lack.
You predend that you don't know,
Why I'm in so much pain.

Secretly hating you,
Betrayed by you yet again.
You think that you can just,
Butt into my life.
But if you really want to make me happy,
You must pay the price.

And now that I've broken free,
From your deadly curse,
I realize your the one who ruined my life,
And continued to make it worse.
Now you're angry with me,
Because I refuse to answer your call.
Because I'm trying to forget you,
So I won't have to fall.

So now, just remember,
When I turn my back on you,
It's because you did the same to me,
Something horible to live through.
Never again will I trust you.

Never again will I call you a friend.
Never again will you ruin my life,
Our friendship has come to an end.
How dare you say that you care,
How dare you even try.

How can you be so heartless,
And try to make me believe your lies.
I've learned form my mistakes.
I've learned from what I've done.
I've learned not to trust you.

You, or anyone.
I've been betrayed by a friend.

FrIeNdShIp....

I hate when i have to say this... My Friendship is broken... Shit..Shit..!!!!!

I don't know how to express my feelings.. im sad.. im angry.. she betray me as a friends... Im so blur.. why she did that to me? i dont think by telling all the past story when we were together as best friends in this post can wash away this pain that she cause but its gonna break my heart into a pieces.

She didn't know that all the people that she's telling bad about me will turn to me and ask "is it true?". Shit, not only one who asked me like that... but all the story come from her!! Shit..shit..shit... feel like giving her a big punch on her face. Big mouth.. sucker..

you better watch out your mouth... bustard!!!!!